Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
