I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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