Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
