finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I believe in your delicious
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
