the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
