Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize