You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
