I feel like abortions should bother me more
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
