I seem to have left my pride at pride
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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