he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Crop dusting thru forever 21
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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