so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
