I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
