You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
