An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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