I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this will be a night to untag.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize