Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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