he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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