He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
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It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
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He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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