Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
