Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
