help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize