if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
