i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
