how can u be prego again
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
