I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
