Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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