I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
