woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
