Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
17 year olds will be the death of me.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
