Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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