I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
