These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
