Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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