I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
