My brain says no but my pants say off.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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