Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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