i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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