Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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