Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm always down for nudity.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize