Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
