So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
