remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
