You can't motorboat a personality
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
