i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
