butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
