with your own penis?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
