I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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