STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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