Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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