she was so not down for the gang bang
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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