I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
