im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Your cock deserves a montage
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
