she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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