Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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