He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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