i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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