be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
