Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We have started to decorate penises.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
