I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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