I don't think brook has ever known best
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
