Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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