i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
