either way he was missing a nipple.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
