there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
