bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
