Your dad touched me again.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
