I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
