I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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